December 2009
14 posts
HAHA I ALREADY HAVE MY NEW YEARS JOKE WRITTEN AND...
YES YES I DO APPARENTLY.
I'm doing the plaid_lemur thing.
Give me some joke subjects and I’ll do my best to make it a really funny and elaborate joke that nobody but me understands!
(DO I HAVE TO ASK A QUESTION FOR THIS THING TO LET ME PUT THE ANSWER THINGY?!)
This is my new account →
Friend's old bed.
Rob: You can have your old bed back. I don't want it anymore.
Dave: Why? What's wrong with it?
Rob: The bed's fine, but I didn't really need that list of every gross thing you ever did on it.
Dave: That's just a free bonus!
Rob: You wrote it on the bed itself, apparently using your own bodily fluids! (walks away)
Dave: But...I color coded it and everything!
3 tags
The damn thing doesn't fit!
Peter: I bought my mom a new oven tray. She said she wanted to install it herself. Then, last night she calls and says the damn thing doesn't fit!
Nick: THAT'S WHAT YOUR MOM SAID LAST NIGHT! HAHA!
Peter: Yes. Yes it is.
Nick: ... ... ... I'm pretty sure one of us just got served.
(For @stereoforbrains.) It’s the Christina...
Joke Ideas. A Retrospective.
plaidlemur:
You guys rock. So far, these have been the ideas for jokes. I messed up blanddiva11’s chimney and Santa idea (just totally flubbed it), but I did manage a decent one from favstar’s burka idea! I’m mulling over therealcherilyn’s tire iron and a beaver one because I could make that really, really twisted. Stereoforbrains will be waiting a lifetime for me to come up with a clever poop...
1 tag
Bubble gum of fiery demons, your pick.
Supermarket Clerk: All right, ma'am, your total comes to $6.66.
Lady: *blinks, gasps* EEEAHHH! AHHH!
Supermarket Clerk: Ma'am? Ma'am, are you all right?
Lady: Ahhhh! *flails her hands*
Supermarket Clerk: Ma'am, clam down, please!
(The lady closes her mouth and paces in front of the register. You can still hear squealing in the back of her throat.)
Another Customer: Just buy gum or something!